Allergic to Normality
by Yukkimurii
Summary: "Let's get them one of those footsie pajamas, yeah! It had that flap thingy in the back for us to go to the bathroom and everything! Like, like we were miniature, less creepy versions of Teletubbies! Should we get them a yellow one or orange one? Let's get them orange! You're the one carrying our child!" Len's too happy about the "upcoming child" of his and Rin's.


-:+:+:+:+:-

It's lunchtime. They're eating Chinese food in the dining room—this specialty Meiko calls for whenever she doesn't feel like cooking—and Rin is willing for Len to just shut his trap for a second. Right at the beginning of the course, Len is already able to conduct one of his lectures to Rin about sanitation, dab the crumbs off her face, and place a large napkin over her lap.

"Rin, don't blow bubbles in your orange juice. It's not polite. Wait, why are you wearing Kaito's shirt? Kaito, why is she—?!"

"Calm down, Len. She ran out of pajama tops today and Kaito offered," Miku says. In spite of the casual tone that oozes from her words, Rin knows for a fact that Miku, deep down in her onion-scented self, thinks Len's attitude is completely adorable.

_Everyone_ thinks it's adorable. Rin, if you haven't caught on, does not. For once, she wishes that Len will quit worrying over such trivial things. Even if they are the same age, the way he always behaves says otherwise. Why can't he give some attention to Kaito, the one who's wolfing down on his noodles just a seat away from him and littering shrimp tails at the floor for cockroaches to bite at?

Len's temperature cools about thirty degrees, and he murmurs a clipped, relieved answer. "Oh." Then with a quick sideways glance at her before redirecting his attention to his food, he says, "But Rin, you wouldn't need to borrow people's shirts if you just did your laundry. And if you were too tired to, you could have left a basket of them by my door and I would have done them for you."

"I was busy, okay," Rin mutters, spearing a piece of an egg pancake with a single chopstick. The food slips off the utensil, however, and splatters back on the plate. A frown of frustration touches the corners of her lips, though tolerably she attempts to practice the implement appropriately this time. She prays Len did not notice.

But alas, she hears the sound of the legs of a chair squeaking.

"Look, " Len says good-naturedly, "hold them like this." He leans closer for the task of arraying her fingers in the proper position. Hand on Rin's, he lifts the chopsticks holding some of the food up to her mouth.

Meiko snorts from across the table, right into her drink to spur bubbles. Miku giggles. Luka bites her lower lip, obviously fighting back a smile. A scarlet blush only spreads over Rin's face, and she can't do anything about it because Len's smiling _really_ softly at her so it will be like hitting a baby lamb instead of a well-meaning but immensely annoying fourteen-year-old. So, she just clamps her lips shut and sinks lower into her seat.

Rin's always been at the miserable mindset that her counterpart, Len, will forever be like this. He's always looked after her, and her stubborn personality has often led to moments that might as well be the denouement of her life until Len swoops in to save her like some sort of stereotypical prince.

Which he always does. And sometimes, she thinks that Len is firm to that belief as well because he panics over everything about her. She isn't kidding. Whether it be she shows up late to rehearsals, doesn't fulfill her nutritional values based on the diagram he made (yes, he made a diagram but god forbid he stop eating candy), or even loses a strand of hair—whatever the case Len somehow finds a way to lecture her with his usual and exasperated, _Oh Rin_ manner when he's not angry.

Even though Rin knows that it's probably programmed in Len's nature to be constantly fretting over her and it's because he genuinely cares for her, there are times where she can't help but feel that…

…Len's allergic to normality.

Don't get Rin wrong, she loves Len to death. He just behaves a little more _eccentric_ than he should be sometimes with the type of relationship they share. Seemingly platonic.

Case in point, he's feeding her even though she's a teenager. This is just because Rin has never bothered to learn to use the chopsticks, which she knows is her fault entirely therefore she can't blame Len. (The memory of a certain female and blonde eight-year-old screaming, "Chopsticks are for the_ weak_!" haunts Rin to this day.)

Back to exhibit A, the food's still hovering in front of her. She doesn't quite see the other Vocaloids' expressions because she's so angry that she can only see red; yet, she's almost positive that they're all grinning like the Cheshire Cat due to the known fact that all of this is just so cute to them. Hmmph. You try having Len look after you twenty-four-seven with absolutely no snack breaks.

Eventually, she sighs, gives in anyway and eats, with him feeding her because she knows he'll do something worse. Her eyes skip everywhere else but her elders in the room—yes, including Len—and not a single utensil clinks in the room. There's only the sound of the fish tank making its usual gurgling bubble noises as well as the one of Rin grudgingly chewing, and she guesses that the other residents are blissfully watching her and Len.

On the seventh bite, Len says conversationally, "Ah, that reminds me. We have a doctor's appointment today for one of those yearly checkups, so change into your outside clothes later. _I'm_ picking the clothes this time because I don't want you showing up at the doctor's office looking like some character out of Kill la Kill."

Rin's mouth works, but only incomprehensible and horrified noises come out.

Len is oblivious.

-:+:+:+:+:-

After returning home, Rin immediately storms up to her room, ignoring Len's shouts that he didn't _mean_ to embarrass her in front of the nurse. Once she's in her bedroom, she slams the door shut and locks it. She hears Len fuss a bit outside in the hallway for a while, but then he disappears out of earshot, probably to discuss his worries to Kaito about how Rin's probably in her rebellious stage. _We're the same age, Len! _she yells in her head as she marches to her bed, a headache spiking her temples and her throat swelling with rage.

Rin flops on her backside onto the pale orange bed sheets of her bed, landing so hard that the strings of the mattress whine, and she snatches a random pillowcase. Then, with a fierce demeanor, she shrieks into it, releasing all the frustrations of her current predicament(s).

_"Oh Nurse, is Rin pregnant? She hasn't had her period and I'm getting really concerned…"_

_Mother of God, Len._

She's fourteen, after all, and she isn't _that _easy. Right? She can't believe Len thought she was pregnant. Anyway, it's perfectly normal for that sort of thing to be late, so he shouldn't need to ask a nurse about it. It's not even any of his business.

Rin groans, scooting her body over the edge, still on her back, to reach for the box of balloons underneath the bed. Months ago, Len advised that she should blow some balloons to relax herself whenever she's throwing one of her "fits". Even though usually she ignores his advice, she follows this one because it actually works.

She draws out a white-colored balloon and inhales before pressing her lips against the tip, hoping while she's doing this task she can escape reality for a while. Why does Len have to care about her so much? She's not fragile or anything. She's no porcelain doll; she's just simple blonde blue-eyed fourteen-year-old who might be a little reckless now and then. Rin blows the balloon until it's the size of a watermelon, tying a knot at the opening when it's fully inflated.

_Huh._

Surprisingly, she's calmer after only one. Usually, it takes about three to get her at ease.

Because she's bored out of her mind, she slips the balloon under her shirt. (Hypocrisy.) Rin pokes at the balloon underneath her shirt, laughing at how it jiggles and sends squeaky sounds. She can't help but think that she looks pregnant. Sort of.

Rin breaks into a mischievous smirk. _This gives me an idea! _Tucking the shirt's edges into her shorts, she hurries to the door and wrenches it open to search for Len.

Actually, said boy is sitting in front of the door in a criss-cross applesauce position, hands in his lap. Upon realizing she's there, he blinks and glances up at her, perplexed. "Rin?" His tone is uncertain, something that's particularly new.

"Len, I…" she says breathlessly, her heart pounding. She bites her lower lip to rid of any upcoming smiles that will give her little prank away. Trying on her best serious expression, she points at her stomach, which Len looks at right away. His eyes widen to her inner amusement. "Len… The doctor just called. I'm… I'm pregnant. Please. Will you stay with me and help?" Rin expects him to stand up abruptly and start grilling her with loud questions about responsibility and how he should have watched out for her more.

Instead, some sort of expression like interest appears on his face—not quite suspicion or worry—but like… He's pleasantly surprised or something. What the heckie is this. "Really." _Really?!_ She weighs on whether or not she should stop now, but something in her balloon-slash-tummy tells her she should just keep going to see if he plays along or something. She needs a good laugh, anyway, and Len's fun when he's not being a total worry wart.

Keeping in character, she continues composedly, "It's… It's your child, Len." She pats her tummy. "Our child." At this point, she's sure that Len will realize all of this is really a terrible joke she shouldn't have attempted in the first place, because in addition to the fact that not once have they even had done the frickity-frack, they're not in a romantic relationship, either.

There's a beat of silence.

Then Len springs up like a jack-in-the-box, and he's squealing like a high school girl. "Are you _serious_?!" he screams. The corners of his lips jerk up higher, and he yells animatedly, "Rin! This is so awesome, I… Ah, I we have to pick a name!" He enters the room, pacing across the carpet blabbering about, beaming as he does. Rin's jaw drops. "Oh! Should we name it something cute? No, no forget the name for now, we should start—"

"Len, uh…" Rin tries, but Len's delighted voice drowns out her words as he goes on about passionately.

"—picking clothes for them!" he says animatedly, thrusting his arms in the air. Oh, now he's practically prancing. "Let's get them one of those footsie pajamas, yeah! Oh my God, I loved those when I was a little! You did, too, didn't you? Yeah, it had that flap thingy in the back for us to go to the bathroom and everything! Like, like we were miniature, less creepy versions of Teletubbies! Should we get them a yellow one or orange one? Oh, let's get them orange! You're the one carrying our child, after all, so you should decide and I know you love the fruit orange, so…!"

He returns to her side, still having that wide grin that can freaking beat the sun in brightness. Rin furrows her eyebrows, unsure whether or not he knows she's kidding, but she forces out a giggle or two.

Then, timidly, she clarifies, "Err, Len_ners_, are you actually excited for the baby?"

He doesn't waste a single second when he responds cheerfully, "Who do you think I am? Of course I'm happy! I've always dreamed of this, but you actually love me back!" Len takes her face in his hands, cradling it gently with a tender smile adorned on his own identical face. A red flush flares on her cheeks, her trying to say something in protest but ending up stuttering on her words. "Man, I'm so happy… Rin, I love you so much! You're going to be a great mommy! Our fans will be so excited! You know, probably not those KaiLen fangirls—blegh!—but think of us raising the child! It'll be so fun, don't you think so?"

He claps his hands on her shoulders, drawing her close enough for her to see that he's blushing too and yes, that he thinks she's actually pregnant. He doesn't seem to notice the look of uncertainty on her face, and he comes one step closer before almost instantly, his soft lips are on hers. The blood from her veins drain.

Oh.

The kiss is…nice, she admits. He's eager, yes, but it's because of the gentleness she feels the love he puts into it, because it's light and kind and feels like the loving Len, who knows the best and wants the best for Rin no matter how bruised he ends up. It also arouses regret in Rin, whose lips then frown against his, because he's loved her all this time even though she always tries to push him away. Maybe that's why he's always looking out for her.

Words subconsciously enter her mind, telling her she should stop now or else he'll be even more upset when she confesses that she isn't pregnant. She can't do that to Len.

Rin reluctantly breaks off the kiss, which noticeably startles Len, but he still holds on to her.

(_Hold on tight._)

Then Rin says carefully, like her words are little glass bubbles that she doesn't want to break, "Uh, Len, I-I'm not really pregnant… You know that, right?" Len's eyes flutter repeatedly, and he frowns.

"Wait, what."

Rin pulls the balloon out from her shirt, and Len makes this expression of realization, like it's dawned on him just now that pregnant women don't really look like this. Len's hands fall away from her.

"Oh." It's weighed with disappointment, not to mention awkwardness, and it _aches_ to hear that tone from him. He runs his fingers through his hair, the blond layers falling back as he mutters weakly with an apologetic glance, "Sorry about that."

"You… Actually thought I was pregnant with your child?" Rin questions in astonishment.

"…Yeah. I did, really."

"And… you love me?" Rin asks. Her heart threatens to burst from her chest.

He opens his mouth, as if to deny it at first, but then he nods. In a chastened voice, Len whispers, "Is that okay? Like, is me loving you okay?" She feels bad, too, because he sounds terrified about her reaction. "Because, Rin… I-I don't want you to hate me."

Rin bites her lower lip and wonders if such a relationship would be even acceptable. They're not twins or anything; they're more like counterparts than anything else, but would the fanbase even accept this? It's kind of… not normal.

But then she's reminded of what Len's done for her, and how sweet he is and how hard it would be for anyone to really hate him. She thinks about how comforted she feels in his arms and the warmth that never leaves Len.

So, Rin kind of just smiles before standing on her tippy-toes to leave a tiny kiss on his cheek. She quickly trails her fingers down his arms, trimmed nails brushing against his skin. "Yeah. It's definitely more than okay. I love you, too, you freak of nature."

He smiles really wide, then, and she can't fight the silly grin forming off of her face, either.

Because Len's really, really, sweet.

-:+:+:+:+:-

"Hey, Len. How come you were all excited even though we haven't… you know?"

"…"

"…Len? How come you're not answering? Len? Is there something I should know about?"

* * *

**the floatie doughnut deflates and sputters away into the sunset, the sound of a flatulence-like noise echoing throughout the universe.**


End file.
